Never Alone a Mother’s Day after a Miscarriage
* original journal entry May 9th 2020 - Mothers Day * Never Alone
Never alone- in the past few months I have carried comfort in a friends post daily- she spoke of a medical term- microchimerism. “During pregnancy, (around week 6) some of the cells leave the woman’s womb & travel through the placenta into the bloodstream & can be found in different areas of the mothers body. Some have been found decades later, with women as old as 90 still carrying the cells of their children. This means a feeling that children we have lost (or living) are not just a feeling but they are still with us- at a cellular level in our bodies. No matter if you have lost a child in a miscarriage or we loose them as an adult.” (Thank you Tate)
You see the doctors office visit before my planned announcement in January I had hoped to share my excitement with you all was unfortunate. Rather being told gender, I was told I have fetal heart tones- but my child would not make it. The sad & loneliness that the word miscarriage brings- I can never explain. But, the long medical term of microchimerism is a very comforting thought these days.
Words are inadequate most days as I grieve in the loss of my baby- the grief is in the empty baby clothes, the app alerts of week 29, the grief is in my silence.. but I know Gods will is in everything.
If you are a woman grieving with me in the loss of a child, a barren womb or the loss of your mother... This Mothers Day weekend- I want to just say- it is okay to be grateful for the beautiful things & grieve the hard things because Jesus is present in both.
Commentaires