Grace & Sovereignty In Zucchini, Poop & A Sandbox In The Garden

After a very busy day, I headed down only to realize that Collins didn’t follow me down completely. She was in fact in the play house when I heard the door bell go off and saw she walked in. I  had an intrusive mom thought “there may be a snake in there.” Truth be told I didn’t really love going back up a hill to check for snakes and reroute her. But, mom paranoia got me & you’ll be just as happy as I was when I confirmed no snakes.

She heads down as I’m cutting only to come grab a zucchini I had just placed in the basket & have a snack. She just put down a twelve piece shrimp meal and some broccoli and ice cream. How in the world is she eating again?

I go back to cutting okra and look up to a “weeeeeee" as she’s on the slide- tackled the climb and let go all by herself. I tell her how proud I am as I continue to snip things. Hoping she doesn’t come rob my basket again because I was about to start on the jalapeños.. Next thing I know I look up and there is my daughter in her sand box. For a visual it’s a very small pink dollar general pool with a bag of sand from the hardware store. Above the sand it’s full of rain water with a stinch from sitting out too long with no drain. She's laid across with arms burried in sand pretending she’s swimming - living her best life. I just said, “girl..” and let her play. After all it would all wash, the clothes can be replaced and it kept her out of snakes areas and jalapeños.

Hauling my 21 pound toddler and a basket of vegetables up the hill to the hose pipe I’m now out of breath & also covered in sand. She got a good ole fashion hose pipe rinse off as I stripped her down. Diapers off- we are clean, she’s laughing like I’m insane for spraying her like a "pretty flower" as a huge blow out begins. Yep, after a hose pipe southern baptism she is now pooping. So, what do you do? Just let her finish, it will clean off too. I hosed her off again and took her straight to the bath.

This all happened after a long day at work and a night of insomnia prior and I thought okay… "what’s the lesson Lord?” Not seeing a stop & smell the roses lesson here- just poop, sand & a half ate zucchini.

“How are you doing Ashleigh?” My first thought was God just wanted to hear about my day. So I briefcase dumped a chat back: “Well, Lord I’m holding this todo list loosely, a lot of really sad & hard things have taken place in my family lately. I’m navigating challenges of motherhood, budgets & a job change this year. Along with an independent toddler who loves to eat rocks and dirt & wonders off on her own adventures. Also, there’s just not much time from the time I arrive home to get prepared for the next day, clean and balance spending time with her before it’s time to go to sleep. But, God I’m content right now, I'm

Not complaining at all. I’m grateful amongst it all- so Lord meet me at the well here because Collins is about to throw all the toys out the tub and demand to get out.”

I began rethinking the things at hand and my reactions because in my spirit in the last 20 minutes I knew there was a lesson because I couldn’t shake it. I’m rethinking my prayers.. okay I’ve really just been thankful, except I did mention I needed Him to come off a cattle in my giving on Sunday. I’ve really been in prayer about raising a child in this awful world lately and end of times & amidst all my stress I was happy. Why can I not get pass the “how are you Ashleigh?”

I was reminded of a promise. “ I will perfect that which concerns you” - Psalm 138:8. And there it was- God wasn’t just asking about my day or how are you doing? He was reminding me that He cares about all the moving pieces. The word perfect in this scripture is an action verb. That "how are you " wasn’t just small chat- it was an I’ve got it, you’re My daughter and Collins is too.

Life is messy- like my my daughter wet, covered in sand and smelling like stagnant water followed by a blow out. Collins looked and smelled about as messy as my to do list. Did I stop and say ohh life’s so hard, you’ve stained the outfit, complain about unravelling the hose pipe again twice? Nope, this mama just pressed forward like it’s just dirt and poop & we have more onesies. Her happiness was worth more than the outfit. I treated all the situations of hers like mamas got it- you’re okay, do your ears have any sand in them? Okay, good let’s go play in the tub.

Similarly my life’s messy and a lot of things are unfortunate but God just wanted to let me know hey it’s a rough spot here but I've got this. There’s nothing on the to do list that I’m not able to wash off. 

Yep- God just hosed me down with a hose pipe figuratively speaking and reminded me that He will restore family units, He will bring dinner to the kitchen table, He will use avenues of my job to help me slow down to what’s most important in life. He will teach me to rely on Him in faith & not in money & resources. He reminded me that hey even if you get side tracked and go off to a playhouse from the path- that He cares about the ONE & will come back and get me. I was prepared to kill a snake in the playhouse if there was one - because I won’t allow the bite. God reminds us as Christians that no weapons formed against us will prosper. They may be there but they will NOT prosper & as Christians we are protected by the blood.

As women we usually have a to-do list in the forms of our iPhone notes, handwritten memos on napkins or post it notes or just playing in our minds. We naturally want to be productive. I thrive in productivity. When we consider the Proverbs 31 woman’s extensive, honorable track record, it’s easy to become lost in what she did as opposed to how she did it all. The reason her life appears to be such a high standard, one that many of us secretly doubt we can reach, is because we are viewing her through the wrong lens. We think the Biblical woman is defined by her productivity. 

I know for myself that I often read the passage in awe of her ability—she’s sewing, preparing food, surveying fields, selling at the market, teaching her children, etc.—and with each task I feel the burden to do the same, and to do so perfectly. The Proverbs 31 woman is not Godly because she is productive, but productive because she is Godly. 

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.  Proverbs 31:31

Her trust in the Lord is the root of everything she does, inspiring her to serve with joy. For many – including myself – self-sufficiency is the temptation. We believe we can do it all.  In our tiresome attempt to master temporary things, we forget the eternal purposes of the cross…and become tired. My hose pipe revelation made my to-do list now seem wet, muddy, hungry & with sand in places I’d rather not have. My to do list was covered in crap & washed off because God reminded me in the garden that He cares about & perfects what concerns us. He shed his blood over all of our to do list on the cross - He took a hose pipe to us ( or for me it seemed like a pressure washer) on the cross.

For every to-do item• I saw His promise & it now looked like this:

• EVERY paralyzed scenario on my list that needed to be healed is healed.

• Covenant relationships were headed in my direction.

• Everything that needs to go is leaving.

• The backs of anxiety, depression and worry were broken.

• Everyone under my roof is headed to blessings and not cursing.

• Everything is finding an appointed place.

• Everything I need for my destiny & my calling Is moving in my direction.

I know this because He promises to perfect the things that concern me. Instead of clinging to the goal of perfection, God reminded me that I’m His child, He cares about my concerns & my to-do list & ALL things have been paid for. I realized How much I need to cling to the grace of Christ, letting the beautiful joy of His salvation lead me each day—even if all the dishes aren’t clean.