Don't Eat the Red Berries

There is something interesting about the definition of bitter. Bit-ter- Adjective: having a harsh, disagreeably acrid taste, causing pain; piercing; stinging, a bitter chill, Characterized by intense antagonism or hostility: bitter hatred, hard to admit or accept: a bitter lesson, resentful or cynical:bitter words. As this word has seemed to be popping up everywhere lately like pop corn I decided to look it up. What I noticed is that the origin of the word bitter is "bite."

If you've ever been bitten- be it by a dog, a spider, or a four-year-old-- you know that the bite inflicts pain. A wound results, and if it is not taken care of, it can become infected-poisonous to the body. Likewise, if we don't take care of our emotional "wounds," our souls become infected with poison. Are you like me and in a wilderness season as a result of a painful event? a breakup? a rejection? an accusation? or just plain disappointment? If so, there is a wound inside of you that we must deal with or it will turn to bitterness. I have great news, Jesus is the great Physician, and he longs to heal our hurts and bandage our wounds. Isaiah 61:1, a prophetic passage about Christ, described His life and ministry by saying that He will "Bind up the brokenhearted." The word bind in the original language literally means "to bandage, to cover, to enclose, to envelope."

When I was a little girl my family would go camping all the time in Alabama state parks. Along the banks of Lake Martin would grow some of the biggest black berries. I remember sitting on the bank waiting for my dad to come in from his daily fishing trip and eating those black berries. I remember later on going over to my aunts house and I had hand picked some delicious looking red berries (thinking they were the same thing). Little did I discover they were not. I remember walking over to a swing where my mother was sitting with a hand full of the fresh picked red berries and showing her as I was about to pop some in my mouth. She went into a panic, " Don't eat those red berries! They are poison!" As she slapped them out of my hand, and examined my mouth making sure I'd not been eating them. She told me again, that this isn't the kind you eat, these will kill you. To this day when I see red berries I always get a little nervous and ask myself are those poisonous? In a wilderness season, women who are hurting, alone, afraid and hungry for relief face a huge temptation to feed their souls with something that will actually harm them- I call it good ole' red berry bitterness.

Believe it or not some people choose bitterness. Whenever a person lives feeling entitled to her anger and justified in her resentment, she chooses to allow a bitter poison to brew in her heart. The poison slowly destroys her from inside out. The Bible actually warns us about bitterness: "See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled (Hebrews 12:15). God tells us in scripture that a root of bitterness causes trouble and defiles many. Imagine that a person's life is like a fruit tree. A tree contains a root system that digs into the ground. Roots provide life and nourishment for the tree. Fruit grows simply as the outward manifestation of the root. Now, if the root of a tree is bitter, what will the fruit of that tree taste like? You and I understand the temptation to eat the red berry of bitterness. It appears oh so yummy. But, bitterness is so deadly to a woman's soul. Believe me, I know that when you're in the wilderness and hungry for some pain relief that berry looks so enticing. Yet resentment, anger, un-forgiveness, and hatred will flat-out poison a girl.

"Are you bitter?"

Seriously, I almost choked on sweet tea when I heard the question. Clearly, this guy didn't get the "what not to ask in a first conversation" memo. The question startled me. I looked at him-more than a little perplexed-and thought to myself: “first of all, how does he know? Is he really asking me about my last relationship on a kinda flirtatious conversation?“ Once I got over the shock of his forthrightness, I thought about it his question and answered, "Am I bitter? No, I'm better..." Now that all the maybe this could lead to a date conversation etiquette was out the window.... it was obviously no secret that I have been walking through a torturous season so I decided to elaborate...

"I'm a better person because of this experience, for through the pain I learned compassion, through the doubts I learned to trust, through the fear I learned faith, through the rejection I see God's amazing hand of protection and through the darkness I saw the light." He didn't say much more after that I suppose I was guilty of TMI. But, you know what? it was really good to hear myself say those words out loud. Yep, you guessed it, there wasn't a date (we haven't spoken since).

But trust me... I'm not bitter. xo- Ashleigh Renee